Hi and welcome to the new version of my blog. I've neglected it for the last few years but I plan on keeping it updated now.
I am in my early thirties and for the last few years, I have been desperate to start a family of my own. I now think the time is right. There are, however, a couple of hurdles in my way - the first, and probably most crucial I should tell you about, is the lack of a man in my life. I've done lots of reading up on options available to me and am pretty sure it's going to involve an overseas clinic visit and a few thousand pounds, but we'll come back to that another time. The first thing I need to resolve is the fact that I am rather overweight. Obese, in face. Morbidly obese. I have a BMI in the 40s. 45.7 to be exact. And that sickens me.
In order to get pregnant, stay pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy, I desperately need to do something about my weight. I need to lose 35kg, or five a half stone, to get my BMI below 35, which is the level that I can have fertility treatment (if needed) and be treated on the low risk pathway for a pregnancy.
I'm quite lucky in that I have no diagnosed medical problems and am reasonably fit for someone my size. However, whilst I haven't ever been tested or spoken to my GP about this, I wouldn't be surprise if I suffer with PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome) as my menstrual cycle is pretty much non-existent. I have had one proper period in the last twelve months and it terrifies me that that will probably affect my fertility. However, I know that if I were to get a diagnosis of PCOS, the first line treatment would be weight loss and to get my BMI down to a healthy weight range (I know that BMI has some criticisms, but it's what the medical world - of which I am a part - works on, so I will be using this to guide me). I don't need a GP or gynaecologist to tell me that; I don't want my BMI of 45.7 to be documented in my medical notes anywhere, so I will not be seeking any assistance with my menstrual concerns until I have lowered my weight significantly, and who knows, it may have improved by then.
Metformin is one of the first medications offered to women with PCOS and does have a number of benefits in that it helps with weight loss and improve fertility. However, from a professional view-point, I absolutely hate metformin and would not be keen to take this drug myself. I have done quite a lot of reading around and there is a 'natural' alternative called Inositol which I ordered last year and started taking - I didn't really take it for long enough to see whether it helped, but it was reasonably priced and didn't taste too bad, so I'm going to start that up again to see if it does anything for my menstrual cycle.
I've thought long and hard about weight loss, especially over the last couple of weeks. Easter is probably not the time to start, but I'm hoping that after it is over, I will be fed up of chocolate. I tried losing weight about two years ago. I lost 8-9kg (about a stone and a half) in a reasonably quick time frame, about a month, and then had an absolutely awful day at work, turned back to the chocolate and continued back down that path. Whilst I put all the weight back on (gutted!), at least I know I can do it. Last time, I did it through healthy eating. I just cut out most of the junk from my diet. I allowed myself occasional treats - I could eat chocolate, for instance, if someone bought it for me. I think, initially, this is what I want to do, I will simply cut out the junk from my diet. Rather than going to the shop after work to get dinner, I will plan in advance what I want to have. This will stop my impulse buying simply because I am hungry. It will also allow me to budget better, which is definitely an added bonus.
Whilst I plan to keep track of my calories, I do not have a current goal of what I would like to have, calorie-wise, each day. The NHS BMI calculator recommends 2081 calories on an inactive day (my job is relatively sedentary), so anything below this should show a loss. I did buy a Slim and Save meal replacement starter kit and have had some of the meals out of there. I was never intending to do a meal replacement diet but thought that the sachets would do for days when I just wanted something really low-calorie for dinner.
I know I need to do some exercise, too, to help with the weight loss. I used to love a number of sports when I was younger and would quite like to get back in to some of these. I used to also love the gym. At my current size, I wouldn't feel comfortable going to a gym - I think I would like to lose about 20kg (about 3 stone) before attempting that - however, I am happy to go swimming and to maybe start the NHS Couch to 5K programme at home. I have started it twice before and given up twice before, once because I was unwell and once because I hurt my ankle running in my dining room.
Anyway, once Easter is over and done with, I will be starting the first day of my diet. I'm scared and excited but most of all, it is one step closer to what I have always wanted - to be a mum.
